It’s about trying and failing. That’s the only way to make any progress. You have to do something.
You can’t escape pain/failure in life. Well you can, if you stay dormant and don’t do anything you can.
The biggest problem is that you’ll most likely take that failure personally, as a sign of ur character or self-worth and that’ll make you feel like quitting.
What you need to do is to work out what kind of pain and failure ur willing to endure so that when it comes it doesn’t knock you so much that you just stop.
It WILL hurt, so use your pain correctly. Try and see dissatisfaction as motivation? As strange as that sounds it actually works.
Say you were fed up because you’d been cooped up all day and you needed to get out. The dissatisfying act of being cooped up would drive you to go out for a walk and grab some fresh air.
If you are cold you need to warm up, so you are driven to get warm and in doing so you get urself motivated and moving.
Once you know what you want and/or need, that knowledge helps you determine a goal that completes the process of motivation by giving you a possible and desirable future toward which you can direct your actions and thus alleviate your dissatisfaction.
That all sounds a bit cliched to me, so I’ll explain to you what I’m going to do and how I’m going to use my dissatisfaction to my advantage.
I’m going to start a 90-day challenge where I’ll form some new good habits that will end up seamlessly becoming second nature to me in my life. I’m making a start in earnest tomorrow, Sunday 1st November, and although my initial time period is going to be 30 days I’m going to extend it so that they can become even more a part of me.
I’ve come a long way in myself from being incapacitated with ill health and injury and although now my body is giving way, my mind is sharp and I have a growth mindset where I’m going to use it to its potential while I’m feeling good.
It would be so easy for me to think about how I wish I could start over because it’s going to be tough, I know, especially at 54 years of age with OA in my knee and the chance I could fall back into depressions at a later stage.
The dissatisfaction of that on its own is making me feel stronger than ever and more driven. I’ve lain dormant for far too long and although my body is showing it I’m determined to get healthier and fitter.
I was just thinking about why I feel the need to write all this down on here? And in all honesty, apart from confirming what I’m thinking I enjoy it. This isn’t a cry for help or a plea bargain where I’m showing that I’m actually worth something. In fact, I love it and so the story goes on.
I love to organize things and get things ready, I do this to perfection. Setting things up so that I know they are in the best possible state, ready for starting, and then to sit back and watch it all happen. Planning and structuring, ordering and recording I like spending my time.
The difference now is that I never used to be a ‘doing the process’ kinda guy whereas now I’m diving deep into that unknown world of doing it in real. Don’t get me wrong I’ve done it before, in fact, I’ve done quite well in the past it’s just that since my last health bout I’ve always felt a bit like I’ve been on my knees, unaware of time or progress, living in a bubble, that’s the one.
Tomorrow is a new day and it happens to be my favourite day of the week. When I was working that used to be a Friday where I’d go to the pub with my workmates, but that was another me and I now have more important things at hand, like my future.
It’s uncanny to me how that now I’m saying that.
I’m 54 years old and I SHOULD have it all built and settled by now, (in my mind I should anyway) and I can still remember when I was in my 20’s thinking and visualizing a time when I’m older and with grey hair. Then life happened and here I am, 54 with grey hair. I think I might have been seeing the future maybe? I was definitely seeing me now.
Oh if only I could have my mind as sharp as it is now on that body I had back then. Not asking for much am I lol.
No, if it wasn’t for a car crash back in 1989 I’m sure things would have been a hell of a lot different, but then we can’t grumble or turn back the time or cry over spilled milk can we, no we can’t.
Onwards & Upwards is the call of today with a positive mind I do say, for the times in my past when I’ve been another, apologies and asks of forgiveness, even to my brother.
Today it’s rained and it looked like it was in for the day. We’ve had a power cut in our area and I managed to continue reading my book called Flow. The suns out now and the electrics back on and I think I’ll go for a walk.
I’m not sure where to leave this, now I’ve spoken all I have but I’ll make sure to come back when I’ve been to the lav.