…and this hasn’t fully sunk in yet.
Taking one’s time in anything has to be the best commodity there is?
Not rushing & being able to slowly construct a plan has to be the new way to go! Not that I have a plan but with all of the advice and help that’s out there for me to go to, read, and listen to, the very best of it all is that I can take my time. And with that comes proper ownership and proper intention, and proper insight into how and why I do nothing which is what all this is about in trying to help me get somewhere that’s a positive place is helping me and something that I can stick at too.
It was only that I was talking to someone about why it is that I can’t seem to stick at anything and why I’ve had such a pattern of failure throughout my life which is ultimately still effecting me, still beating me and worst yet, still controlling me, so I need to change.
A lack of motivation maybe that’s due to a reduction in one of my medications? “Give it time and hopefully this will balance and settle itself out and you’ll start to feel less depressed again,” said my doctor today. At least now I know it has a good chance of getting better and it just might not be necessary to revert back to such a strong dose.
For many many years, I’ve been prone to getting very despondent with myself when things didn’t work out the way I had hoped or more importantly planned, and I’d simply give up. Just like that I would stop, give up, give in, and then waller in my own meandering thoughts where I would wonder how and why things didn’t work out? and succumb to the process!
As I’ve said before in one of my posts, it’s not until you actually read it or hear it does it finally cinq in and the penny duth drop. I could only ever make things last a few short days or weeks at the most and after a lifetime of this happening, these had become almost set in stone, even if things were going well, or seemed to be going well.
So…now I know that I crumble when I can’t make a plan work, and with that knowledge, I’ll start to purposefully make it work!
Why can’t I listen to my own advice??
How do I carry on, on my own??
How am I going to tackle this??
It’s up to me!!
The if, the what, the why, and the when is up to me. Just having the choice is refreshing and therein lies the Scratch!
You see it wasn’t that long ago that I didn’t have that choice. I didn’t have the headspace to be able to even think about things clearly at all, and with the clarity that I do now. Having that clarity of thought, that gift to be able and even that idea on its own is Power. So use it!
It starts with You
– Scratching my itch will become my new mantra & the itch I scratch will be my self-improvement –
Update 27th August 2020: All of this is fine, really good, and very positive (in thought). So I’ve found out to my discredit – after all of the years where I have been concentrating on what’s going on inside my head and emotionally, I’ve badly neglected my body and I’m now very physically out of shape.
2 trips to the gym for some hard working-out and now 2 weeks later that’s all stopped. Swollen knees due to arthritis and I can’t take prescribed medication to combat it as they don’t mix with an anti-depressant that I’m taking so I’ve been a bit shtuck in knowing what to do. My doc has recommended some Ibrufen gel so I’ll try that.
It’s bloody ironic how things happen! When I’m not far off being mentally sound my body starts giving in. Oh well, onwards and upwards we go!