Amazement Life Mental Health Well-Being Wonder

My Wandering Mind

Words from a Bipolar Mind in Real-Time

Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

After being medicated for depression and pain for a long time I became aware that I was feeling spaced out, so much so that I daren’t drive, and with the doctor’s help I weaned myself off of the meds that they thought were causing the problem. I reduced and reduced until I was clean and it turned out that I had gone nearly 2 weeks free. I was feeling great in myself, focused, and clear-headed and I was telling myself that I didn’t need that shit and that I could manage on my own.

You know how things just creep up on you and before you know it you can be in the middle of something that overwhelms you? Like being in debt and not answering your letters, or putting off doing your food shopping until you’re REALLY hungry where you overspend or ignoring all the little stressy things until they blow up out of all proportion?

Bipolar does that. It creeps up on you and bang! It’s there engulfing you with either mania or depression – Up or Down, that’s how it goes.

And it also has this uncanny neat little trick of making you think that you’re fine and you can do it ALL on your own, that you’re invincible and superior, and with that comes a change of mindset where racing thoughts keep you from slowing down. Where all of a sudden you can’t concentrate or stay focused for very long at all and your world becomes one long line of chops and changes. But it’s all in the head, it’s the neurotransmitters in your brain that aren’t bridging the gaps that feed messages.

I’ve suffered from this for a lot of years now and that’s more or less the reason why I haven’t got very far in life, but after spending so much time being medicated and on that level that it gives you, I’ve learned to slow down enough, even when I do become manic or depressed and if it hadn’t have been for that awareness I don’t think that I could have realised what was happening after I came off of the meds.

When you NEED help, SEEK help and in time you’ll learn yourself inside and out. p.s. I’m still learning.

Hi, I'm making this website as a hobby that I'm hoping will grow into something that I can leave behind that'll benefit family and friends and anyone else who it touches. I find it very therapeutic and relaxing, and I hope I can help someone along the way. Please feel free to contact me if you have any comments or suggestions.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.